Slowly but Surely...

May 14, 2025

Well, I did it. I actually got into an ice-bath. I have a friend that has had an ice-bath in his garage for a couple of years now. He swears by it and has been trying to convince me and my husband that we need to try it. I’m notoriously cold most of the time so I had no intention of ever getting in the tub. But there is just too much evidence, collected over a long period of time, to ignore the possible benefits. I stayed in for one minute which is apparently good for my first time. In fact, we bought a tub for ourselves, and I’ve used it a couple of times. I need to keep using it on a regular basis in order to receive the benefits from the icy plunge.

The medication that I began a couple of months ago has helped me a lot to walk better. It seems almost normal again. You have no idea how much you miss walking until you’re unable to do it. We take so much of our regular bodily functions for granted, never expecting to have to deal with losing control of them. I am also on a supplement that is supposed to improve my mood but so far, I don’t seem to be getting a lot of benefit from it. But then again, I am the last person to notice the improvements in myself. Many people, including my counselor, tell me that I am much better than I was 2 months ago.

Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

I’m discovering, through counseling, that I am very hard on myself. I expect much more from myself than I do from anyone else and I’m working on trying to change that, but it does take time, much more time than I would like. I still want to be past this more than anything else and that is not a helpful way to feel. I have a workbook for counseling, and I’ve been learning many techniques to help me deal with my symptoms, including one called ‘radical acceptance’. Accepting our situation in life is always helpful and necessary, but it’s even more important when you’re dealing with difficult struggles.

What I really need to do is grab onto joy, not happiness, because joy is not dependent on things in life always going well but happiness is. And I know where to find joy – through Jesus Christ. He is waiting for me to surrender my burden to Him and not take it back. He longs to help us because we were never meant to carry these kinds of loads. I know that He is always with me and will never leave me or forsake me. I think that’s why I’ve improved as much as I have. I only need to trust Him the rest of the way.

The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you. He will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid or discouraged. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

It's quite hard to live every day wondering when I’ll feel safe and secure again. But God gives me times of rest and times of joy with my family, connecting with my grandkids while they grow up before my eyes. So, my advice is, don’t waste time worrying about the future because all any of us has is right now. I know how hard it is, believe me, but healing will come eventually, if we don’t give up and we keep counting on God to keep His promises. And never forget, we’re not in this alone. We have each other for support and understanding, because there’s no one that understands the beasts of anxiety and depression better than someone else who’s experienced it.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)