Still learning...

July 28, 2025

It’s been a while since I’ve shared my thoughts. Here I am, 19 months into this season of my life – this season of anxiety and depression. It keeps coming and going, seemingly having a life of its’ own. It has been very difficult at times, sometimes feeling impossible. But if there’s something I’ve learned during this time. It’s that God is true to His word and keeps His promises. If He didn’t, I don’t think that I would still be doing what’s necessary for my recovery. God, in His mercy, gives me the strength and hope that I need to carry on. He also provides me the fighting spirit I need to counteract the negative self-talk that plays repeatedly in my head.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)

We have been preparing to move to New Brunswick for the last month or so. It has been quite stressful for me and my family, as it is for anyone making a big move. I have lived in Ontario for my entire life and I’m nervous about leaving family and friends behind. One of my children lives here with his spouse, and they are the parents of one of my grandchildren. I will miss them terribly, but I know that we can keep in close contact with each other through messenger or Facetime. The trip out there will be interesting – a nine-hour drive plus stops and 2 cats in tow as well. I will be drawing on the strength that God provides for that journey.

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:31)

I have realized a few things over the last month. I don’t have to be afraid. There is an alternative to fear, and it starts with confidence and trust in God and in myself. I also don’t have to just survive this ordeal. I can choose to learn more about myself and what triggers me. I can learn to embrace all my parts and not fear them. The parts of us that display anxiety or depression are not all bad. They are common to everyone and are very useful in keeping us safe. Our expression of these emotions is just too intense, and we need to discover how to embrace our entire selves. Also, I already have everything I need to recover my mental health. It has always been in me.

So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper, I will not fear. What can man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6)

Possibly the most helpful thing that I am learning is how to wait on the Lord. That’s possibly the most difficult thing for any human to do – to wait on deliverance/healing from a tough situation. But, as I said earlier, it will be easier on us if we don’t fight who we are. We don’t have to like the situation but we do have to accept where we are right now if we are to thrive in life. And it is possible – to thrive in life, even with a sensitive nature like ours. Don’t forget, your sensitive personality makes you more creative and aware of other people's feelings, which is something this world needs more of!

Humble yourself, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5: 6-7)